ABOOT

Oh hello there,

Big Eye

I didn’t see you come in.

I am glad you decided to stop by and have a little look see at what I have created.

This is my little garden of Eden, my Genesis.

Now, let me drop some knowledge on you. I’m the tree of knowledge dropping my fruit on your head like you’re some kind of Newton or Wile E Coyote. Of course, I hear you screaming at your computer screen, “Fruit?!?!! Newton had an APPLE hit him on the head and the Coyote had an ANVIL! An Anvil is nothing like and Apple!”

And to you I say, yes physically they are different but phonetically they are the same.

Right now, I want you and all your friends who are gang reading this to “meat hook” the corners of your mouth with your fingers… go on, I’ll wait.

Good. Pull taut.

Now everyone look at each other in the eyes and say with me: “APPLE”. Sounds a lot like “ASSHOLE”. Now say “ANVIL”… also sounds like “ASSHOLE”.

Basically, both Newton and Wile E Coyote were being phonetically shit on (Verbal Diarrhea AKA VD).  The only difference between the two was the Coyote had a very elegant umbrella that did very little to no good in protecting him. Oh… I also should have warned you prior to performing this exercise, but I hope there weren’t any kids or any prudes while you were swearing.

If there were, then you need to reevaluate your life. You’re a grown up hanging around kids! Smarten up!  Right, where were we? Ah, some people have come here to this site maybe to find the God or a God of Comedy.  You came to the right place, because you see, by calling the website GodofComedy.com it’s rather redundant. If humor can be found in everything and anything, and if God is everything and anything, then it’s safe to say, I made my point.

Some say the point is God exists in internet form… and humans created the internet… and God created us, so we could create it.

I would like to have this whole aboot section stricken from the record!

I am Garrett Jamieson an artist comedian.

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